Because hydration and caffeine can absolutely sit at the same table—preferably next to you, in matching vegan fabulousness, and zero shame.
This combo screams, “I balance my chakras with cucumber, but I still want cake that tastes like ambition and almond joy.”
You’ll crunch through the cucumber like a wellness warrior, then dive face-first into a slice of rich, nutty, espresso-laced rebellion.
Perfect for the woman who meal-preps salad but bakes cake while streaming crime documentaries.
It’s clean, caffeinated, cruelty-free indulgence with attitude—and yes, your taste buds will gossip about it for days.
Cucumber Salad with Coffee Almond Cake
A crisp, tangy cucumber salad meets a soft, aromatic coffee almond cake in this plant-powered duo of sass, flavor, and vegan charm.
Ingredients
Cucumber Salad:
- 2 large cucumbers thinly sliced
- 1 tbsp rice vinegar
- 1 tsp agave syrup
- ½ tsp sesame oil
- Pinch sea salt
- 1 tbsp chopped fresh mint or dill
Coffee Almond Cake:
- 1½ cups all-purpose flour
- ½ cup almond flour
- ½ cup maple syrup
- 1 tbsp instant espresso powder
- 1 tsp baking powder
- ½ tsp baking soda
- ¼ tsp salt
- ¾ cup almond milk
- ¼ cup neutral oil grapeseed or canola
- 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- ¼ cup slivered almonds for topping
Instructions
Cucumber Salad:
- Slice cucumbers and place in a large bowl.
- Whisk vinegar, syrup, sesame oil, and salt in a small bowl.
- Pour over cucumbers and toss to coat.
- Add fresh herbs and chill for 10 minutes.
Coffee Almond Cake:
- Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease your cake pan.
- In a bowl, whisk flour, almond flour, espresso powder, baking powder, soda, and salt.
- In another bowl, mix almond milk, oil, syrup, vinegar, and vanilla.
- Pour wet ingredients into dry. Mix until smooth—don’t overthink it.
- Pour batter into cake pan. Top with slivered almonds.
- Bake for 35 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Cool on wire rack. Try not to inhale it whole.
Notes
📊 Nutritional Values (Per Serving)
Cucumber Salad:- Calories: 60
- Total Fat: 1.5g
- Saturated Fat: 0.2g
- Carbohydrates: 8g
- Fiber: 1g
- Protein: 1g
- Calories: 280
- Total Fat: 14g
- Saturated Fat: 2.5g
- Carbohydrates: 34g
- Fiber: 3g
- Protein: 4g
💪 Vitamins and Minerals (Per Serving)
Cucumber Salad:- Vitamin K: 19%
- Vitamin C: 11%
- Potassium: 7%
- Iron: 10%
- Magnesium: 9%
✨ Additional Notes & Tips
- Want extra glam? Add a dusting of cinnamon or cocoa to the cake top post-bake.
- Make the salad ahead—it gets sassier after chilling.
- Sub almond milk with oat milk for a creamier texture.
- Don’t skip the vinegar in cake—it’s science, not sass.
- Pairs beautifully with herbal tea and eye rolls.
