Let’s be real—nothing screams “put together” like a fancy cheese board that didn’t actually involve a cow or a pig’s backside.
This vegan cheese and charcuterie platter serves classy attitude with a no-animals-were-harmed disclaimer.
We’re talking artisan nut cheeses, smoky seitan slices, and a coffee cake so moist it might just seduce your guests.
Perfect for wine nights, brunch gossip, or solo snacking like the queen you are.
Impress your judgmental cousin or your date who claims they “miss meat.” Spoiler alert: they won’t after this.
Cheese and Charcuterie Platter with Coffee Cake
A luxe, plant-based cheese and charcuterie platter with savory elements and a rich, crumbly vegan coffee cake to sweeten the deal.
Ingredients
Vegan Cheese and Charcuterie Platter:
- 1 cup vegan cashew cheese store-bought or homemade
- ½ cup marinated olives
- ½ cup dried apricots
- ½ cup roasted almonds
- 1 cup sliced vegan seitan “salami”
- 1 tbsp whole grain mustard
- 1 tbsp fig jam
- 1 small bunch seedless grapes
- Assorted vegan crackers about 1 cup
Vegan Coffee Cake:
- 1½ cups all-purpose flour
- ½ cup brown sugar
- 1 tbsp baking powder
- ½ tsp salt
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- ¾ cup almond milk
- ⅓ cup coconut oil melted
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 tbsp maple syrup for the top swirl
Instructions
Charcuterie Platter:
- Choose a large, flat board or tray and get artsy.
- Arrange vegan cheeses in separate corners.
- Place seitan slices neatly in a fan shape.
- Fill in gaps with olives, apricots, grapes, and nuts.
- Add jam and mustard to small ramekins.
- Layer crackers on the side for crunch and flair.
- Chill platter until ready to serve.
Coffee Cake:
- Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).
- Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon in a bowl.
- In another bowl, whisk almond milk, melted oil, and vanilla.
- Combine wet and dry ingredients gently.
- Pour batter into greased loaf pan.
- Swirl maple syrup on top like you’re decorating a vegan masterpiece.
- Bake for 35 minutes or until golden.
- Cool before slicing to avoid a crumb catastrophe.
Notes
Nutritional Values (Per Serving)
Platter (1 serving):- Calories: 280
- Total Fat: 18g
- Saturated Fat: 3g
- Carbohydrates: 22g
- Fiber: 4g
- Protein: 10g
- Calories: 230
- Total Fat: 9g
- Saturated Fat: 2g
- Carbohydrates: 30g
- Fiber: 2g
- Protein: 4g
Vitamins and Minerals (Per Serving)
- Calcium: 12%
- Iron: 10%
- Magnesium: 9%
- Folate: 11%
- Vitamin B6: 8%
Additional Notes/Tips to Enhance the Flavor
- Add fresh rosemary or thyme sprigs for elegance and aroma.
- Use beet hummus or baba ganoush for color and depth.
- Chill your wine—because obviously.
- Toast the nuts lightly for extra flavor.
- If you don’t photograph this, did it even happen?
