Yes, you read that right—coffee-rubbed beef roast and mocha cream puffs, without a single moo involved.
This isn’t your grandma’s Sunday roast unless Nana secretly ran a tofu lab and moonlighted as a pastry wizard.
We’re going full plant-based diva here: rich coffee flavor, savory roasted faux beef, and dessert that flirts with your soul.
Expect bold espresso spice, mouthwatering texture, and puff pastries that’ll leave you emotionally attached.
You’ll feel fancy with zero culinary drama.
So light a candle, throw on your fuzzy slippers, and roast like a woman who runs the world.
Coffee-Rubbed Beef Roast with Mocha Cream Puffs
A boldly seasoned vegan "beef" roast kissed with coffee rub, paired with airy, chocolate-filled cream puffs drenched in rich mocha glaze.
Ingredients
For the Coffee-Rubbed Vegan Roast:
- 2 cups seitan or soy-based vegan roast
- 1 tbsp ground coffee
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tbsp soy sauce
- ½ tsp black pepper
- 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
For the Mocha Cream Puffs:
- 1 cup plant milk almond or soy
- ½ cup vegan butter
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 tbsp cocoa powder
- ¼ tsp salt
- 2 tbsp ground flaxseed + 6 tbsp water egg replacer
- 1 cup vegan whipped cream or mousse
- 1 tbsp instant espresso
- ½ cup dark vegan chocolate
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
Instructions
- For the Roast:
- Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C).
- Mix coffee, paprika, garlic powder, pepper, soy sauce, oil, and vinegar into a paste.
- Rub mixture all over the seitan roast.
- Place in a roasting pan and cover.
- Roast for 40 minutes covered, then 10 minutes uncovered for that dramatic finish.
- For the Cream Puffs:
- Boil plant milk and butter.
- Reduce heat. Stir in flour, cocoa, and salt until dough forms.
- Let cool for 5 minutes.
- Mix flaxseed and water, then beat into dough.
- Pipe dough onto lined tray in 2-inch mounds.
- Bake at 400°F (200°C) for 25 minutes.
- Cool puffs, slice tops, and fill with whipped mousse.
- Melt chocolate with espresso and maple syrup for mocha glaze.
- Drizzle like you’re in a food commercial.
Notes
📊 Nutritional Values (Per Serving)
- Calories: 490
- Total Fat: 20g
- Saturated Fat: 6g
- Carbohydrates: 58g
- Fiber: 5g
- Protein: 23g
💪 Vitamins & Minerals (Per Serving)
- Iron: 19%
- Calcium: 15%
- Magnesium: 13%
- Vitamin B6: 12%
- Folate: 11%
💡 Additional Notes & Tips
- Add a splash of red wine to your roast rub if the week’s been that kind of drama.
- Use decaf espresso if you plan on eating cream puffs at midnight (we know you will).
- Store extra puffs in the fridge, and your dignity in the freezer (next to the ice cream).
- Sprinkle flaky salt on the glaze for a salty-sweet combo that’ll change your life.
- Leftovers reheat beautifully. Unlike text messages from your ex.
