Look, we both know there’s no actual cow involved, but we’re calling it “beef” to keep the illusion alive for Chad. This slow cooker masterpiece turns humble plant-based protein and vibrant broccoli into something that screams takeout who? It’s savory, rich, and saucy enough to impress your judgy aunt. Oh, and the coffee panna cotta? It finishes things off like your ex never could—smooth, satisfying, and drama-free. You toss it all in, press a button, and pretend you’re on a cooking show where your only job is looking fabulous.
Slow Cooker Beef and Broccoli with Coffee Panna Cotta
A no-fuss vegan twist on beef and broccoli served with a silky coffee panna cotta that’s bold, comforting, and a little dramatic.
Ingredients
Beef and Broccoli (Vegan):
- 1 tbsp sesame oil
- 1 onion sliced
- 2 garlic cloves minced
- 1½ cups seitan strips or soy curls, rehydrated
- 2 cups broccoli florets
- ½ cup tamari or soy sauce
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
- 1 tbsp rice vinegar
- 1 tsp ginger powder
- ½ tsp chili flakes optional but spicy vibes encouraged
- 1 cup vegetable broth
- 1 tbsp cornstarch mixed with 2 tbsp water slurry
Coffee Panna Cotta:
- 1½ cups almond milk
- ½ cup strong brewed coffee
- 2 tbsp agave syrup
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 tsp agar-agar powder
- Shaved dark chocolate or cocoa nibs for garnish
Instructions
Beef and Broccoli (Vegan):
- Sauté onion and garlic in sesame oil for 5 minutes until fragrant.
- Add seitan, broccoli, tamari, maple syrup, vinegar, ginger, and broth to the slow cooker.
- Stir gently and cook on low for 4 hours or high for 2.
- In the last 30 minutes, add cornstarch slurry to thicken.
- Serve with rice, sass, and confidence.
Coffee Panna Cotta:
- In a saucepan, combine almond milk, coffee, agave, and vanilla.
- Stir in agar-agar and bring to a gentle boil.
- Simmer for 2 minutes, whisk like you’re whisking away ex-drama.
- Pour into ramekins, refrigerate for 2 hours.
- Garnish with dark chocolate shavings. Devour with elegance.
Notes
Nutritional Values (Per Serving)
- Calories: 370
- Total Fat: 10g
- Saturated Fat: 1.5g
- Carbohydrates: 45g
- Fiber: 8g
- Protein: 22g
Vitamins and Minerals (Per Serving)
- Iron: 24%
- Vitamin C: 26%
- Calcium: 20%
- Magnesium: 18%
- Potassium: 22%
Additional Notes/Tips to Enhance the Flavor
- Add a splash of toasted sesame oil at the end for that “I know what I’m doing” finish.
- Don’t skimp on garlic unless you hate joy.
- Serve with jasmine rice or noodles, whichever your mood allows.
- Use instant espresso in panna cotta if you like drama.
- Leftovers? Yes, queen. They taste better the next day—just like revenge.
