Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C) and line your tray with parchment paper like the domestic goddess you are.
In a bowl, beat vegan butter, sugar, maple syrup, and vanilla until creamy and confident.
Mix in flour, salt, and baking soda until dough forms. Fold in chocolate chips like a boss.
Scoop dough onto tray, spacing apart like you do with toxic people.
Bake for 12 minutes, then cool while you make the filling.
For the cream: beat butter, espresso, sugar, vanilla, and salt until smooth. Try not to eat it all.
Pipe or spread cream between two cookies. Devour like a queen.