Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Line your baking sheet with parchment like a baking pro.
Cream vegan butter, brown sugar, and cane sugar until the texture screams “fluffy and fabulous.”
Stir in plant milk and vanilla. Sip leftover coffee like the multitasking queen you are.
In a separate bowl, whisk flour, baking soda, salt, and coffee granules—aka the flavor bomb mix.
Combine dry ingredients into wet. Mix just until combined. No overthinking, unlike your last text message.
Fold in chocolate chips gently. You’re making cookies, not beating eggs into submission.
Scoop dough onto baking sheet. Space them like emotionally distant dates—at least 2 inches apart.
Bake 12 minutes. They’ll look underbaked but trust—they’re doing their best.
Cool on tray for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack so they can reach full cookie potential.