Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C) and line your baking sheet with parchment like the functional adult you sometimes are.
In a bowl, beat softened vegan butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth and ready for compliments.
Add brewed coffee and vanilla extract, then mix until you question why you don’t do this more often.
Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt. Keep mixing until the dough looks irresistible (you will taste-test).
Fold in chocolate chips like a responsible snack architect.
Scoop tablespoon-sized balls onto the sheet, evenly spaced like your skincare products.
Bake for 12 minutes until golden around the edges, then let cool (yes, patience is hard).
For the filling, beat vegan butter, powdered sugar, plant milk, vanilla, and salt until fluffy enough to double as a pillow.
Match cookies by size. Spread or pipe filling onto the bottom of one, then press a second on top.
Devour, brag on Instagram, and hide the rest from your roommate.