Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a springform pan with parchment and grease the sides like they owe you money.
Blitz almonds and oats in a processor until crumbly. Add coconut oil, maple syrup, and salt. Pulse until mixture sticks together.
Press crust into the pan evenly and bake for 10 minutes. Let it cool while you channel your inner cheesecake goddess.
In the same processor, blend cashews, sweet potato, coffee, coconut cream, maple syrup, cornstarch, lemon juice, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt until silky.
Pour filling over the crust. Smooth the top with a spatula like your life depends on it.
Bake for 35–40 minutes or until edges are set and center jiggles slightly (like you after three coffees).
Let it cool on a rack, then chill for at least 4 hours. Overnight if you’re emotionally strong.
Slice, serve cold, and prepare to be complimented aggressively.