Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Don’t burn it, this pie deserves better.
Mix flour, salt, and vegan butter until crumbly. Add cold water gradually and form a dough.
Roll dough and press into your pie dish like you mean it.
In a saucepan, heat maple syrup, coconut cream, sugar, and coffee. Stir until it simmers and thickens slightly.
Add cornstarch, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt. Stir until glossy and smooth—cue the oohs and ahhs.
Fold in pecans. Pour that glossy filling into your crust like you're pouring drama into your weekend.
Bake for 40 minutes. Let it cool until set—like, really let it chill.
Slice, serve, and revel in your genius.