Mix flaxseed with water and let it thicken—like a plot twist in a soap opera.
In one bowl, whisk flour, baking soda, and salt together.
In another, cream the vegan butter with both sugars until light and slightly smug.
Add the flax egg and vanilla. Mix until combined and feeling fancy.
Stir in the dry mixture and fold in chocolate chips like you mean it.
In a small bowl, beat vegan cream cheese, espresso, powdered sugar, salt, and vanilla until smooth and deliciously shady.
Line your baking pan with parchment. Press in half the cookie dough like you’re laying the foundation for greatness.
Spread the coffee cream gently across the dough—like secrets between best friends.
Top with the remaining dough. Smooth it out, patching any gaps like a pro.
Bake at 350°F (175°C) for 25 minutes, or until golden and slightly firm.
Cool completely before slicing, unless you enjoy mouth burns and regret.