Step 1: In a bowl, mix coffee, maple syrup, and cinnamon like you're crafting a potion of pure fabulous.
Step 2: Add strawberries, blueberries, orange, and figs to the bowl. Toss gently so nobody bruises their fruit feelings.
Step 3: Let the fruit soak in the mixture for 10 minutes. This is called flavor infusion, not lazy multitasking.
Step 4: Drain the fruit and pat lightly with a paper towel. Keep the drips off your velvet napkins, darling.
Step 5: Assemble the board with infused fruit, almonds, chocolate, cheese cubes, cranberries, and mint. Arrange like you’re styling a Vogue spread.
Step 6: Serve immediately or chill for later. Either way, pretend you spent hours crafting it.