Preheat oven to 325°F. Line the base of your springform pan with parchment. Because cheesecake deserves luxury too.
Mix cookie crumbs, melted coconut oil, and maple syrup. Press firmly into the pan to form your crust. Chill for 10 minutes.
Drain and rinse cashews. Blend them with espresso, coconut milk, maple syrup, lemon juice, vanilla, and salt until super smooth.
Add melted dark chocolate to the blender and mix again. Don’t lick the blade. Yes, it’s tempting.
Pour the filling over the crust and smooth it out. Tap the pan to release air bubbles (or stress).
Bake for 55–60 minutes until the center barely jiggles. Cool for 30 minutes, then chill in the fridge for at least 4 hours.
Garnish with shaved chocolate or a dusting of espresso powder before serving.
Slice, serve, and ignore anyone who asks if it's "real" cheesecake.