Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Line baking dish with parchment paper and judge your oven like it’s an ex.
In a small bowl, mix flaxseed meal with water. Let it thicken—just like your patience on a Monday.
In a large bowl, whisk cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, and salt.
Stir in melted coconut oil, sugar, espresso powder, vanilla, flax mix, and almond milk.
Mix until smooth. Don’t overthink it—like your last text.
Pour into the lined pan and spread evenly. Bake for 25 minutes.
Cool completely before slicing. Or don’t. We’re not here to judge your cravings.
Serve with smugness on a charcuterie board. Pair with coffee or sass.