Preheat oven to 350°F and line your muffin pan. You know the drill—no naked cupcakes.
In a large bowl, whisk flour, cocoa, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Pretend you're doing it for arm day.
In a separate bowl, mix almond milk, oil, vinegar, vanilla, and brewed espresso. It’ll smell like hope.
Combine wet and dry ingredients. Stir until smooth and moody.
Pour batter evenly into 12 cupcake liners. Bake for 18–20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out less dramatic than you.
Let cupcakes cool completely before frosting unless you’re into sliding butter blobs.
For the frosting, beat vegan butter until fluffy like a RuPaul wig.
Slowly add powdered sugar, espresso, vanilla, and salt. Beat until thick and pipe-able.
Frost cooled cupcakes with flair. Dust with cocoa or chocolate shavings if you want the full “frappuccino fantasy” moment.
Serve immediately, or refrigerate and pretend you’ll eat just one a day.