Because sometimes you want to feel like a responsible adult and an unhinged dessert queen—in one perfectly confusing yet fabulous meal.
This recipe combines light, crisp cucumber salad (for your “clean girl” lunch era) with decadent coffee tiramisu (because life is exhausting).
It’s refreshing, creamy, zesty, sweet, bold, and wildly chaotic—basically your love life, but edible and far more reliable.
Both dishes are vegan, totally bougie, and weirdly harmonious like that one coworker who microdoses wellness and rage.
So yes, go green and dive into mocha heaven—because balance isn’t just for yoga, darling, it’s also for dinner plates.

Cucumber Salad with Coffee Tiramisu
A surprising, delicious pair: crisp cucumber salad dressed to impress, and luscious coffee tiramisu that brings sweet, creamy drama.
Ingredients
For the Cucumber Salad:
- 2 large cucumbers thinly sliced
- 1 tbsp rice vinegar
- ½ tsp sea salt
- 1 tsp maple syrup
- 1 tsp sesame oil
- 1 tbsp chopped dill
- ½ tsp chili flakes optional
For the Coffee Tiramisu:
- 1 cup strong brewed coffee chilled
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
- ½ tsp vanilla extract
- 1½ cups vegan whipped topping
- 1 cup vegan cream cheese
- 10 vegan ladyfinger cookies or sponge cake pieces
- 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Instructions
Cucumber Salad:
- Toss cucumbers with salt and let sit for 5 minutes.
- Whisk vinegar, maple syrup, sesame oil, and dill.
- Drain cucumbers, mix with dressing, and sprinkle chili flakes if you like drama.
Coffee Tiramisu:
- Brew coffee and let it cool (yes, patience again).
- Whisk vegan cream cheese, whipped topping, vanilla, and maple syrup until smooth.
- Dip ladyfingers quickly into coffee—don’t soak them like your last situationship.
- Layer dipped cookies and cream mixture in a dish. Repeat.
- Dust with cocoa like you’re covering secrets.
- Chill for 3 hours minimum—overnight if you’re emotionally stable